Eighth Floor

This article contains unmarked spoilers for Book 6.

System Message. Posting Book 8 spoilers will result in "acceleration" per our rules.

The Eighth Floor was originally going to be the seventh floor but was replaced with the Great Race.

Introductory Announcement

Hello, crawlers.

Welcome to the eighth floor. The Ghosts of Earth.

This is going to be a long message. This floor is simple, but the environment requires a small amount of explanation. Not that you twits are going to understand either way.

You have all picked one of 293 different regions. We have just over 38,000 crawlers joining us, and of the groups, you are occupying 205 of the regions. Unlike the bubbles of the fifth floor, you are not distributed evenly. But just because you don’t see anybody else, it doesn’t mean you’re alone. Each region contains two stairwells, and you have been generated near one of the two.

The theme of this floor is broken up into two parts. Phase two starts in 14 Earth days. You will not be able to obtain an exit key until then. Thank the gods. For the next two weeks, you will be stuck within your starting area.

All crawlers have been placed in squads of no more than five. If your party is six or more, the party members have been split into equal-number squads of less than five. These squads are not able to be broken. If you leave your party, you will not leave the squad. You have to work together to survive.

You’ll notice your squad has six more spots than the number of crawlers. So if you’re by yourself, it’ll have seven spots total, and if your squad consists of five crawlers, it’ll have eleven spots total. Your job for the next fourteen days is to fill your squad. You will be required to fill your squad before you will be allowed to proceed to phase two. If you do not fill your squad before the timer runs out, it will be filled randomly. Trust me. You don’t want that. We’ll get to that in a moment.

In fourteen days, you will be given at least two options on where to send your squad for the second phase. It will be a different geographic location than where you’ve started. You, along with your full squad, will be required to fight your way to an exit key. This will not be easy, so it is in your best interest to make certain your squad is as powerful as you can handle. More details on the assault phase of this floor will be forthcoming.

This is how phase one works.

All of you are inside a large structure within your starting area. As soon as this message ends, the doors will open, and you will be allowed to proceed outside.

Each region is limited, but you will have plenty of area to investigate. In most cases, you will be allowed to explore in a circle of about 99 kilometers from your starting location in any direction. If this causes an overlap with another region, this distance will be shortened. If you are on an island, you will not be able to venture more than six kilometers off shore.

You will not be able to enter any other regions during phase one.

Your starting area is an exact replica of Earth’s surface area as captured on the indicated date. This includes all the geographic features, buildings, vehicles, and yes, the people.

That’s correct. You will be fighting and exploring in a precise facsimile of Earth in the weeks before the collapse.

There are a few important caveats. You’re living inside of a memory. In most cases, you will not be able to interact with mobile biological entities within the replay. They will not appear on your map. Think of them like intangible ghosts. They can’t see you, and if you touch them, you will go right through them. They will be going about their lives just as they did on the day of the recording.

However, and this is very important so pay attention, all non-biological, non-attached items will be tangibly present and will maintain their mass and momentum until physically interacted with by a crawler or a mob or an unexpected environmental factor.

You can enter buildings. You can use non-automatic doors in most cases. You can break windows. You can get hit and killed by a vehicle. You can go to a grocery store and take all the onions. You can allow a person to walk through you, which will likely rip the clothes from their bodies. The visible portions of their bodies will continue on their way. The people and animals are ghosts. Everything else is not. Complex machines may or may not work depending on what they are. You can pick an onion or piece of tofu out of a ghost’s hand and throw it at a mob. The ghost will continue to eat, but the onion will now be on the ground. You can place a barrier in a street, and a car will crash into it, but the ghostly avatars of the drivers will continue on their way, floating toward their destination as if the accident never happened.

In other words, you can destroy the environment as much as you like. You can move mountains if you have the power. The physical items will only move as they did on that date if they are in the exact place and condition they were at the time of recording. The world is your literal playground.

Note. Anything you loot on this level that comes from the earth memory will turn to dust upon the collapse of this level. You will not be arming yourselves with the content of your local military base for use on the ninth floor.

That’s the environment. Now let us get to the squads.

Your area is seeded with mobs and bosses and legendary creatures that are exclusive to the folklore of the region in which you inhabit. For example, those of you in Romania will be dealing with vampires and werewolves. Those of you in Ireland will have leprechauns and banshees. Those of you in Japan are just plain fucked.

The further out from your starting area, the more difficult the monsters and bosses you will face. These monsters will also be interacting with the environment, so it’s likely their locations will be obvious, especially if the mobs are unintelligent as they will be attempting to attack the noncorporeal locals.

At the end of this message, your squad leader will receive a set of twenty flags containing your squad’s logo, which has been automatically created by the system.

If you plant the flag within the body of a living entity while they are at less than 5% health, they will be transformed into something called a T’Ghee totem, which will be added to the squad leader’s inventory.

If it is a noncorporeal monster, the flags will still work. Flagged monsters will automatically join your squad and will automatically be minions of whomever summons them. They will follow the summoner’s orders.

That is, they will follow orders to a certain extent, depending on the level difference and nature of the monster. While you need a squad that’s as powerful as possible, it might not be in your best interests to build a team that’s a little too strong. You may dismiss mob squad members if they don’t work out by ripping the T’Ghee totem in two.

If you run out of or lose your twenty flags before your squad is filled, they will not be replaced, so be careful with them. You may collect more totems than squad spaces. You may trade totems with fellow crawlers. You may steal totems from fellow crawlers.

Upon the start of phase two, all non-placed totems will dissipate. All surviving squads may choose a single T’ghee card to keep upon the collapse of this floor.

That’s it for now. More details on phase two will become available in a few days. Furthermore, fighting with T’Ghee totems comes with a few additional rules, which will be explained after the next recap episode. I’m supposed to explain that part now, but honestly, you monkeys think you’re so smart and clever, and I’m certain you can figure it out on your own.

Now get out there and kill, kill, you know.

The Card System

The rules on how the card system functions:

Once publicly released

Layout

Settlements

Stairwells

Events & Quests

• Upon Entry to the Floor:

• Stairwell:’’’Limitations on Stairwells.

Achievements

Eighth Floor Achievements

Achievement	For	Reward
Fashion of the Gods! Achievement	Receiving a Celestial item	A new anxiety[1]
Interloper Achievement	Allowing a boss into a safe room	Bronze Stranger Danger Box[2]
Crybaby Achievement	Being Rendered Terrified	None[3]
You have discovered a Celestial Thorn Room! Achievement	Discovering a Celestial Thorn Room	None [4]
Secondary Gig Achievement	Taking on a job from the Guild of Suffering	New Interface Tab[5]
We Want Meat! We Want Meat! Achievement	Entering the Penis Parade	10 Gold [6]
Molly Maguires Achievement	Entering Guild of Suffering	Enlightenment [6]
Smeat Achievement	Participating as a minion in a card battle	Silver Spam Box[7]
Cascadia's Turquoise Taco Achievement	Ending a card fight before any cards were played	Gold Prepotente Box[7]
Cliffhanger Achievement	Climbing	Not pointing out how dirty Carl's Toes Are[8]
Prepare for Trouble! Achievement	Fighting two card bosses	Turkey Deep fryer[8]
LBC Achievement	Successfully taunting an opponent with a garment	Gold Talk of the Town Box[9]
Pincushioned Achievement	Getting both eyes stabbed	Platinum That was Disgusting Box [9]
Watch where you're waving that thing, big boy. Achievement	Using a Wand in combat	Gold Wand Box [9]
Mass Layoffs Achievement	System AI gaining sentience	Nothing [9]
Columbia House Achievement	Taking on a debt	Cassette copy of Gloria Estefan’s 1989 masterpiece, Cuts Both Ways[10]
Fumble Achievement	Fumbling	This might be how you will be remembered[10]
Holy Hell Achievement	Being in the presence of Sheol Royalty	Platinum Hell In A Handbasket Box[11]

System Message: the following achievements were for actions taken on the Eighth Floor, but are opened in This Inevitable Ruin (Book) book.

Achievements earned on Eighth Floor

Achievement	For	Reward
Demons Hate This One Trick Achievement	Freeing Demons by teleporting	Gold I Have the Conch Box [12]
Lord of the Flies Achievement	Setting up a trap for a crawler	Unlimited Pea Soup [12]
Celestial Loot Achievement	Picked up Celestial loot.	Loot Punch Card[12]
Chickenshit Exploit Achievement	Exploiting the rules of the card game	Platinum Tserendolgor Box[12]
Used Pet Achievement	Adopting a pet of another crawler	Gold Pet Box [12]
Uh oh. It talks. Achievement	Using a Sapient weapon	Pair of earplugs [12]
Touched by a Demon Achievement	Touched by a Demon Lord of Sheol	Celestial Heavy Metal Box[12]
Crab Chowder Achievement	Uhh...	All food items can be served "chowder style"[12]
Unbirthing Achievement	Teleporting into Samantha's neck	Legendary Spicy Box [12]

References