“Bro,” the monstrosity croaked. “I need a spot, bro.” He pulled a round, metallic free weight from a rack. The disc was the size of a manhole cover. With a twist of his waist, he threw it right at my head. The giant weight burst into flames as it rocketed toward me.[1]
The Juicer was a First Floor Neighborhood Boss occupying the troglodyte neighborhood. He was defeated by Carl and Donut.
AI Description
The Juicer!
Level 9 Neighborhood Boss!With a body enhanced by the finest anabolic steroids the dark web has to offer, the Juicer spends his days pushing iron, snapping necks, and crying that his pimple-infested sac is a third the size it once was. Having reached a plateau, rage now fills his enlarged heart. All he ever wanted was to gain, but right now he’ll settle on bringing out…
The music hit a crescendo with a dun, dun, dun!
…the paaaaain![2]
Description
The Juicer is roughly 6'6" tall and humanoid, with a scaly body and tail, and a "preposterously muscled physique, covered in tributaries of bulging veins as thick as my finger." His scaly lizard head is supported by an improbably beefy neck, and zit-like pustules circle his beady eyes. His arms are so large that he can hardly seem to lower them, and his enormous thighs force him into a ridiculously wide stance that causes him to waddle when he moves. He wears little black shorts and Axe body spray, but nothing else.[3]
He has a strength of 25 and his main attack involves hurling metal weights at his target; the weights catch fire in the air.[3][4] His high-pressure veins are his weakness.[4]
The Juicer's Boss Chamber is a gym with a tall ceiling and the persistent odor of sweat, oil, and testosterone.[3] The automatic sliding glass doors read "Open 24 Hours" and "Fitness, Weights, Gains," and open to a small reception area with a turnstile and posters that say things like, "Today is the day you gain," "Excuses don't lose calories," and "Release the beast."[5][3] When the glass doors slide shut, boss music plays and the well-lit room turns red.
Gallery
Story
Book 1
Carl and Donut stumble across the Juicer's Boss Chamber while grinding in preparation to help Meadow Lark face the Ball of Swine. The room includes six Troglodyte Bashers and three Troglodyte Virtuosos. Due to Donut's two minute potion cool-down, Carl takes on the poisonous troglodytes while Donut dodges their attacks and fires Magic Missiles at the Juicer.
Carl wastes several Confusing Fog Spell scrolls over the course of the fight, punches his way through the Bashers, and then grabs a Virtuoso's tongue in his fist. The Virtuoso drags Carl across the room and bites down painfully on Carl's fist; Carl retaliates by bashing its head against a machine, accidentally embedding its teeth into the bones of his arm. Carl beats another Virtuoso to death with the Virtuoso attached to his fist, until its neck snaps away, leaving Carl with a "bizarre boxing glove made of troglodyte head."[3] Carl earns the Two Chicks at the Same Time Achievement as a result.[4]
At this point, Donut has reduced the Juicer's health by 2/3 but is out of mana. Carl starts to beat the Juicer with weights but, just before he can kill it, the Juicer grabs his wrist and neck and starts to squeeze. As Carl's health plummets, Donut fires a weak Magic Missile at the boss before leaping onto its bulbous shoulder and biting through one of his veins, spraying the room with an impossible amount of blood. The Juicer's grip on Carl goes slack, but he manages to land a glancing blow on Donut that sends her flying across the room. Carl knocks him down with a weak jab, and crushes his head under his foot.[3]
“I’m proud of you, bro,” he said. “You fought through the pain.”[6]
In the aftermath, Carl frets over Donut's limp and broken body; he attempts to use a Heal Critter scroll on her and poisons himself with Healing Potions to test the potion cooldown before her hilariously dramatic recovery.[3] As Donut attempts to clean blood from her fur, Carl loots everything he can: free weights, dumbbells, weight benches, a door, exercise mats, medicine balls, broken gym equipment, wrenches and tools, a laptop with a dead battery, a cabinet filled with paper and half a bottle of Johnny Walker Black.[4]
Both Carl and Donut reach level 9 after the Juicer fight. Donut receives the Puddle Jumper Spell in the Bronze Boss Box, and Carl receives the Enchanted Shuriken of Bloodlust.[4]
Trivia
References
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. Dungeon Crawler Carl (Chapter 24) (p. 188). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. Dungeon Crawler Carl (Chapter 24) (p. 187). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 Dinniman, Matt. Dungeon Crawler Carl (Chapter 24)
- ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 4.5 Dinniman, Matt. Dungeon Crawler Carl (Chapter 25)
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. Dungeon Crawler Carl (Chapter 23)
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. Dungeon Crawler Carl (Chapter 24) (p. 192). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Butcher's Masquerade (Chapter 65)
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