Donut looked pointedly at my foot. “It’s a small rodent. Your feet are all nice and shiny. As Miss Beatrice used to say, ‘Time to pay the Daddy tax.'" [1]
Ralph is a Frenzied Gerbil and a Neighborhood Boss on the Second Floor.
AI Description
Frenzied Gerbil Level 11 Neighborhood Boss!
Before we send you off to certain death, it’s time for a short history lesson.
When the Black Death swept through 14th century Europe, killing upwards of 200 million people and forever altering the course of human history, one of the original culprits of the epidemic was said to be the black rat, carrying plague-infested fleas into population centers to wreak their destruction.
This is, in fact, not true. The true perpetrator was actually the Asian great gerbil, who took advantage of the warmer climate to travel the silk road and bring the disease into Europe.
This is only important to know because Ralph, champion pit fighter of the kobold training grounds, lives his life in a perpetual state of rage. Why? Because he feels that human death toll of 200 million is much too low, and he will do everything in his power to triple that number.
Starting with you.
The only survivor of a family of gerbils left to starve by a child who’d grown bored with the pets, Ralph had to commit unspeakable acts of cannibalism in order to endure.
Part earth rodent, part the embodiment of death, Frenzied Gerbils are regular mobs one might encounter on the fifth or seventh floors. But Ralph here is special. He has dedicated his existence to fighting and training in hopes that one day he might exact his revenge against the humans he so despises.
He is fast, he is angry, and by the time you’re done reading this, he’s already halfway to your jugular.
You might want to duck. [1]
Appearance
Ralph looks like a regular ("absurdly cute") Earth gerbil, except for its mouth. The mouth looks normal when closed, but opens wider than physically possible when it opens its mouth to scream. The mouth opens so wide that it obscures the rest of the body behind it. [1]
Story
Book 1
On the Second Floor, Carl and Donut find the boss chamber for the Kobolds based off the heavy music coming from the chamber, sounding like deeply distorted barking. Carl and Donut have to switch to chat due to the volume. The chamber itself is from a Portuguese municipal dog pound, with three hallways flanked by cages. Most of the cages are empty, but some of them have Danger Dingos in them, curled up and looking pitiful. [1]
Donut asks if they should kill them for the free experience. Carl looks at one of the dingos who is clearly injured from a dog fight. He doesn't have any Heal Critter scrolls left, so he feeds the dingo a Pet Biscuit.[1]
Donut: CARL WHAT ARE YOU DOING. THAT IS MY FOOD.
Carl: I’m trying something. Let’s see what happens.
Donut: THIS IS A BETRAYAL MOST FOUL. [1]
The dot on the Map goes from red to white. Carl feeds all the dingos in the pet cages, turning them all white. Carl briefly considers having Donut use her Second Chance Spell on the dead dingos, but can't figure out how to open the cages. Before he can decide anything, the doors to the boss chamber open to an arena and the fight begins.[1]
Carl manages to throw a Carl's Jug O'Boom into the arena before the fight freezes to do introductions. There are about 40 Kobolds, with one opening a small metal cage with Ralph in it. Carl ducks right as the AI description ends and Donut hits Ralph with a Magic Missile. Most of the Kobolds are instantly killed, but one slinks over to the wall to release the Danger Dingos from the cages. The first dingo Carl fed eats Ralph whole, while the others tear into the remaining Kobolds. [1]
The boss music doesn't stop though. Donut had made a comment about this boss battle being placed here for a very specific purpose, and Carl asks her what she meant. [1]
Donut looked pointedly at my foot. “It’s a small rodent. Your feet are all nice and shiny. As Miss Beatrice used to say, ‘Time to pay the Daddy tax.’”[1]
Just then, the dingo's head explodes, with Ralph emerging from the corpse. Carl knocks him down with a punch, adding the Stun Debuff to the creature.
“If it makes you feel better, she was talking about you. You’re the daddy,” Donut said, looking down at the almost-dead boss.
“No, Donut,” I said. “That does not make me feel better. That’s the opposite of making me feel better.” I placed my bare, right foot upon the small monster.
“Sorry, Ralph,” I said.”[1]
References
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|---|---|
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